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Owning My Body’s Story: A Decade-Long Journey
As a writer, I’m pretty perfectionistic about my words. I want them to come out perfectly, and when they inevitably don’t, I edit them until they’re exactly what I want them to be. I’ve “edited” this post in my head for months now, and something is urging me today to just… write. To just get it…
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Some thoughts on middle school
The other day I was working and blasting some Ben Rector music in my office– a routine thing for me. I’ve listened to every song Ben Rector has ever made– probably a thousand times over by now– but when the song “Like the World Is Going to End” came on, for some reason it stood…
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Self-compassion: Take a minute to un-hate yourself
We all have an inner critic. Some of us have developed healthy ways of dealing with its voice, and some of us listen to it because we don’t know there’s an alternative. For me, it says things like: “Geez, can’t you just get out of bed already? You’re so freakin’ lazy. Come on.” “Wow, you’ve…
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Living in the discomfort of the unresolved.
Right now, I’m living in a period of change and nearly constant trial-and-error. I’ll readily admit that in my recent lifestyle changes and job transition, I’ve fallen back into my default mode where I feel the need to cram all my life experiences from day to day into either “good” or “bad,” “black” or “white.” My default…
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Let go and love (yourself).
“You HAVE to get an A on that paper. Your grade depends on it.” “Wow. That sucked. You should’ve prepared more and maybe you wouldn’t feel so bad now.” “Come on, just get up and vacuum. Look how dirty that floor is.” “Why didn’t you put more effort into that? It could’ve been perfect if…
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When you preach truth to your future self.
Maybe it’s just me, but I think when you’re a writer, half the time you write things that you yourself desperately need to hear (if that is actually just me, awkward). In this particular case it’s absolutely true– I wrote this to myself, and I really needed to hear it today. But here’s the thing: I…
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When Satan guards the door to your heart.
On Thursday morning, I said something stupid to a person who matters to me. It was something hurtful. It was something disrespectful. It was rooted in a wrong assumption, and I never bothered to ask for clarification before I armored up and threw out my jabs. By Thursday afternoon, I knew what I’d said wasn’t…
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P is for Perfectionist: Are you “perfecting yourself to death”?
I’ve heard it said that “realizing you have a problem is the first step to recovery.” I used to think that idea was limited to addiction and alcoholism, but as it turns out, “realizing you have a problem” is actually pretty close to saying, “Humble yourself and examine your heart.” My story of dealing with perfectionism…
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P is for Perfectionist: Naming the inner critic
Last week, I shared a piece of my journey in discovering grace. If I’m honest, I was more than a little terrified to post something so vulnerable, but I was overwhelmed by how many people reached out to me and told me they were struggling to give themselves grace, too. With that, I want to keep sharing…
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When things don’t go according to “the plan.”
As of last Sunday, December 6th, Luke and I have been engaged for a full year. The plan was to be engaged for less than a year. The plan was that wedding prep would go oh-so-smoothly. The plan was for me to live in my current apartment for less than six months. The plan was to…